About RedButterfly5 : I love anime and manga. I'm sarcastic but most people take me seriously so if it sounds mean or the opposite of what would be expected now you know why. The reason I keep coming back to FML is because it's funny, most are funny, some are just plain mean and it makes me disgusted with humanity. I'm almost always on my iPhone so don't expect an immediate response from me if you message me.
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Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36818) - you deserved it (2498)
On 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by MrKento (man) - Honduras (Francisco Morazan)
Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (4505)
On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40271) - you deserved it (8088)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32708) - you deserved it (4922)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32385) - you deserved it (11435)
On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)
Today, feeling tired, I snuck one of my wife's pills that she claims gives her super energy. I later found out it was our son's placenta, grounded up and made into capsules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (9631)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was denied a job because the guy interviewing me said that I was an illiterate blonde girl who used fake words like "plethora" and "viable". I told him I would leave, after he spelled the word "illiterate". He spelled it wrong and had me escorted from the premises. "Eeletterote" my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40031) - you deserved it (1875)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Nefi (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27905) - you deserved it (11996)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (3201)
On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27075) - you deserved it (3072)
On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27429) - you deserved it (7974)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (5121)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you deserved it (5743)
Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38085) - you deserved it (1903)
On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36218) - you deserved it (9419)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland
Monday 20 May 2013
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