Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RedButterfly5

Search for a member

RedButterfly5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2946
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RedButterfly5 : I love anime and manga. I'm sarcastic but most people take me seriously so if it sounds mean or the opposite of what would be expected now you know why. The reason I keep coming back to FML is because it's funny, most are funny, some are just plain mean and it makes me disgusted with humanity. I'm almost always on my iPhone so don't expect an immediate response from me if you message me.

RedButterfly5's page activity

Visits<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:59pm<b>shibeep</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 1:45pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:13pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 3:17am<b>jerzjay</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 11:46pm<b>thenamesbrooksy</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 6:40am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 4:16am<b>CaptainFoxbutt</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:30pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 1:32am<b>VampireBiter</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 7:57am<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 9:32pm<b>Drifting</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 2:39am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:23am<b>larson15</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 7:32pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 6:07pm<b>disturbed678</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 3:17pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 3:44am<b>McNikk</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:10am

RedButterfly5's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of RedButterfly5's badges

RedButterfly5's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23195) - you deserved it (4264)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74836) - you deserved it (8763)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (6418)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34619) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (1940)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (1680)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

#20077635
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (3805)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23960) - you deserved it (2785)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22954) - you deserved it (3253)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21576) - you deserved it (2490)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML

#20028546
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5211) - you deserved it (18250)

On 08/18/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (1431)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

#20026624
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18919) - you deserved it (1896)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML

#20022605
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (9336)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: