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RedButterfly5

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RedButterfly5
  • Town/Country : Florida, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1957
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RedButterfly5 : I love anime and manga. I'm sarcastic but most people take me seriously so if it sounds mean or the opposite of what would be expected now you know why. The reason I keep coming back to FML is because it's funny, most are funny, some are just plain mean and it makes me disgusted with humanity. I'm almost always on my iPhone so don't expect an immediate response from me if you message me.

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RedButterfly5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (1755)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (3330)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34442) - you deserved it (5146)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21330) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26322) - you deserved it (4489)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML

#20130128
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19938) - you deserved it (4060)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Pokemon problems - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (1059)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16424) - you deserved it (1851)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21071) - you deserved it (1351)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21354) - you deserved it (4098)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

#20119882
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29990) - you deserved it (1229)

On 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Faker (woman) - United States

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27849) - you deserved it (16778)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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