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Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44641) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32902) - you deserved it (8932)
On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (3478)
On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28124) - you deserved it (1468)
On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7914) - you deserved it (27191)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8500) - you deserved it (16678)
On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20599) - you deserved it (12239)
On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (2684)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18592) - you deserved it (33948)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15853) - you deserved it (798)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14876) - you deserved it (935)
On 12/04/2012 at 2:10am - health - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12522) - you deserved it (2196)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by backtothelaundrettethen (woman) - Germany
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5582) - you deserved it (17396) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (1255)
On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17569) - you deserved it (1620)
On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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