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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I flew to Syracuse to visit my girlfriend. Upon arrival, I found out she's seeing someone else. I spent $400 to sleep on my ex-girlfriend's couch while she and her new boyfriend slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43998) - you deserved it (4154)
On 05/23/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by flightnfight (man) - United States (California)
Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42449) - you deserved it (2875)
On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (7079)
On 05/21/2011 at 3:18am - intimacy - by btswc - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47651)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (2586)
On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46616) - you deserved it (3175)
On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56323) - you deserved it (3356)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31838) - you deserved it (8533)
On 05/17/2011 at 10:36pm - love - by unrequited (man) - United States
Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32726) - you deserved it (11390)
On 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm - love - by Fatty (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66692) - you deserved it (16936)
On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85797) - you deserved it (191969)
On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67845) - you deserved it (15062)
On 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by jsw029 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft..." He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina which delightfully formed a crease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46029) - you deserved it (16476)
On 02/25/2009 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by sopathetic (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my boyfriend said that being with me was his payment for past sins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42967) - you deserved it (3377)
On 02/25/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16774) - you deserved it (37611)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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