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Rayjay1

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 1:38am) | Search for a member

Rayjay1

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  • Number of visits : 44
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Rayjay1's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34157) - you deserved it (3440)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36132) - you deserved it (2581)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37229) - you deserved it (8340)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31619) - you deserved it (18203)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43670) - you deserved it (5279)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27205) - you deserved it (39037)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54091) - you deserved it (18169)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58457) - you deserved it (12241)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (49180)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99478) - you deserved it (11622)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29426) - you deserved it (45325)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30790) - you deserved it (65566)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50556) - you deserved it (10854)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14762) - you deserved it (57892)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)



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