Ray9889

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Ray9889

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1461
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Ray9889 : Just here for the laughs.....

Ray9889's page activity

Visits<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:58am<b>slayertack</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 3:08pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 12:13am<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:08am<b>Yeliel84</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:47pm<b>bosox29</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 6:29am<b>Oxidation</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 8:38pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:25am<b>unknowndevil</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 10:11am<b>BlueMoonCafe</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 10:09am

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Ray9889's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML

by katie06 / 10/28/2010 at 2:39am / United States / Animals

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

by Insensitive / 11/14/2009 at 5:26pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML

by snow / 09/22/2009 at 5:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

by Girl / 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

by jennabean / 08/12/2009 at 12:13am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

by whatthehell / 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 10:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy