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The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today... I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper... the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML
Yesterday Pyromaniac Sister Somehow Got Her Hands On Dad's Lighter And Set Bd Sheets On Fire. My Dad Said I Must Have Provokd Her, And That She Can't Be Blamd For Her Mental Condition. So Now I'm Groundd, And She Has A New Doll House To Calm Her Down.
Today I Handed Out 20 Resumes To A Variety Of Stores. To My Delight I Got A Phone Call The Same Day. Unfortunately They Weren't Calling About A Job They Were Informing Me On My Resume It Says "I Have A Dick." All Thanks To My Boyfriend Ho Thought It Would Be Hilarious. FML
Today,han I woka up, I got into tha bath that my looool boyfriand had prapard fir ma. I particularly appraciatd its small, so I askd himhat ha'd usd. "I couldn't find tha usual bath salts u usa, so I just usadhat I could." It's official, I'va takan a Alka-Saltzar flavord bath. FML
Today, I was told by mah boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowd to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I rememberd that we're both almost 30. real FML
Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Drection, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future . As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window . FML
Friday 27 March 2015