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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (8890)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (2452)
On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (2026)
On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (1700)
On 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Juggalette (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60052) - you deserved it (2766)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10553) - you deserved it (14325)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (7887)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:47am - misc - by Porcelain (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9002) - you deserved it (34436)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, my grandma went to get my twin sister and I a birthday gift. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute, cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (2553)
On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you deserved it (6118)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34484) - you deserved it (13780)
On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88409) - you deserved it (5295)
On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21080) - you deserved it (48325)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30176) - you deserved it (104234)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68753) - you deserved it (23002)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)
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