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RandomSlapper

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RandomSlapper

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 272
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About RandomSlapper : I am a huge Queen fan. I am also a secret pokemon-training ninja. That listens to Queen. Oh, and I'm 13. What have you accomplished?

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RandomSlapper's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38779) - you deserved it (13116)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55515) - you deserved it (2906)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53159) - you deserved it (4220)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64629) - you deserved it (5954)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (45846)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51153) - you deserved it (4438)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50126) - you deserved it (7077)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42939) - you deserved it (3026)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79679) - you deserved it (4092)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55239) - you deserved it (7874)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

#20616531
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47029) - you deserved it (3657)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

#20609608
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77573) - you deserved it (7057)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

#20609262
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52341) - you deserved it (6689)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49319) - you deserved it (6443)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36786) - you deserved it (4171)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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