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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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RandomFool
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 26 April 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 12072
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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RandomFool's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

#13711659 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (25439) - you deserved it (11597)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

#7324438 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (1206)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45746) - you deserved it (10320)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (41363) - you deserved it (3515)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (11077) - you deserved it (46674)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (68938) - you deserved it (32608)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (50346) - you deserved it (5963)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120422) - you deserved it (28803)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197 (379)

I agree, your life sucks (20154) - you deserved it (51519)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

#1449103 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (4201)

On 04/29/2009 at 4:06am - health - by Jake (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

#1090748 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (39017) - you deserved it (6699)

On 04/18/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML

#1086654 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (38657) - you deserved it (6825)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by Spec (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

#1068515 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (43961) - you deserved it (7159)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by woopwoop (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (76515) - you deserved it (5387)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (85553) - you deserved it (3780)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)