RandomFood

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Offline (the 01/26/2016 at 10:02pm)

RandomFood

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 228
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RandomFood : Pokemon
Math
Xbox
PC

RandomFood's page activity

Visits<b>kyletg09</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:38pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:27pm<b>JackSkellingtons</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:31am

RandomFood's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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RandomFood's favorite FMLs

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 1:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

by pissed out pants / 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2012 at 10:49pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML

by icecreamer / 07/06/2009 at 12:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

by Screwed / 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

by cmerr / 03/19/2009 at 3:40am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy