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RandomBird

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RandomBird

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 127
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About RandomBird : No

RandomBird's page activity

Visits<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:54pm<b>syed121417</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:40am<b>stargirl_95</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:34am<b>codester123</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:47pm<b>haddiej</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:42pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:25pm

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RandomBird's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (2936)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34521) - you deserved it (4310)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (2802)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49168) - you deserved it (21252)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35157) - you deserved it (11506)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38065) - you deserved it (3452)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42990) - you deserved it (6133)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (4400)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46581) - you deserved it (7000)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

#21135688
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39629) - you deserved it (4098)

On 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63201) - you deserved it (5823)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38396) - you deserved it (3737)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59511) - you deserved it (4536)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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