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RandomBird

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RandomBird

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 179
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About RandomBird : No

RandomBird's page activity

Visits<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:54pm<b>syed121417</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:40am<b>stargirl_95</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:34am<b>codester123</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:47pm<b>haddiej</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:42pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:25pm

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RandomBird's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (3304)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30567) - you deserved it (2500)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37334) - you deserved it (2313)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (3192)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27481) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34573) - you deserved it (4313)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34905) - you deserved it (2804)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49183) - you deserved it (21257)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35180) - you deserved it (11511)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38083) - you deserved it (3452)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43009) - you deserved it (6138)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (4402)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46668) - you deserved it (7006)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

#21135688
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (4100)

On 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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