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RandomBird

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RandomBird

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 964
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About RandomBird : No

RandomBird's page activity

Visits<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:17pm<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:54pm<b>syed121417</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:40am<b>stargirl_95</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:34am<b>codester123</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:47pm<b>haddiej</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:42pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:25pm

RandomBird's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of RandomBird's badges

RandomBird's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25550) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (3356)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33765) - you deserved it (3007)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (3684)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32836) - you deserved it (2538)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (2512)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (3509)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28614) - you deserved it (3350)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36514) - you deserved it (4794)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (3171)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49383) - you deserved it (21317)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37879) - you deserved it (12644)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40729) - you deserved it (3750)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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