Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RainbowHeadache

Search for a member

RainbowHeadache
  • Town/Country : Oklahoma, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 December 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 4926
  • Number of comments : 508
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About RainbowHeadache : I'm a new mom & hopefully a bad ass one.
-
My favorite subjects of study are Forensic Science, Physiology, Parasitology, & Sociology.

I'm a skeptic & I love to ask questions.
-
I find humor in the tragic.
-
Romanticism makes me want to punch crotches.
-
I read manga religiously.
-
I have a passion for zombies & video games.
-
Sickening shock/gore movies are spiffy.
-
Ask me anything you'd like
although that doesn't guarantee that I'll answer it. ;]
-
P.S. My name's Sally.

RainbowHeadache's last visitors

RabbidIbanezFlubbaBubbaBlankStevechickaslimshadyArni792Hilda_xgothgirl333black160emilycardona7Rag_dollxx

RainbowHeadache's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

RainbowHeadache's favorite FMLs

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

#17786349
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (6313)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

#17781306
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12339) - you deserved it (30670)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24031) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38349) - you deserved it (10750)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16987) - you deserved it (47872)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (4187)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30014) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

#17364695
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (42588)

On 08/04/2011 at 6:19am - kids - by Bobsaget00 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9757) - you deserved it (22859)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML

#17355866
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12344) - you deserved it (26090)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by Alohaporno (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12822) - you deserved it (23412)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10484) - you deserved it (62427)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (10176)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: