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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54090) - you deserved it (6455)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27132) - you deserved it (2559)
On 08/24/2009 at 9:38am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (5182)
On 08/24/2009 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36427) - you deserved it (3535)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21181) - you deserved it (12660)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16458) - you deserved it (27809)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (2524)
On 08/23/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Kegronauer (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML
I agree, your life sucks (34961) - you deserved it (15872)
On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (1840)
On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (3655)
On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27307) - you deserved it (5009)
On 08/21/2009 at 5:27am - health - by tryingatkins (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (28600)
On 08/21/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by onebadwave (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47616) - you deserved it (2251)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, it was my first day of school as a freshman. I soon became lost and decided to ask a senior for directions to my class. They smiled at me and said "It's on the third floor to the right." After ten minutes of walking up and down stairs and hallways, I discovered there is no third floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20242) - you deserved it (13838)
On 08/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had my sweet sixteen party. All my best friends came to the microphone to make a little speech. When my boyfriend came to do his, he broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49222) - you deserved it (3818)
On 08/20/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by 16isntsweet (woman) - United States (California)
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