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RaesLilly's favorite FMLs
by BobsBabe2 / 10/24/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Kids
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by britchick95 / 10/10/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids
Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML
by disgusted / 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm / United States / Intimacy
by fiftyno / 10/01/2012 at 11:02am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
by youre dumped shitforbrain / 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm / Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next… Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she… Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account…