This member hasn't filled in their description.
RaesLilly's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
RaesLilly's favorite FMLs
Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2009 at 7:13am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
by sexychica / 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2009 at 2:58am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML
by BrokenHearted / 07/04/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by daRN / 07/02/2009 at 3:34pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML
by liz / 06/21/2009 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML
by steph / 06/01/2009 at 12:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
by Lo_Bolian / 04/24/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
by NoFightResponse / 04/23/2009 at 11:53pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
by fencernick / 04/22/2009 at 6:40am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous