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Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22980) - you deserved it (2739)
On 07/17/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by theuglyfriend (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (1935)
On 07/16/2012 at 8:58pm - love - by lurna301 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19013) - you deserved it (5161)
On 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm - kids - by trisha (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14014) - you deserved it (3754)
On 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by dogmom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20609) - you deserved it (2070)
On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States
Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (1408)
On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (2625)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20646) - you deserved it (1122) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the following two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13932) - you deserved it (4683)
On 07/06/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by :$ (woman) - United States
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6407) - you deserved it (16808)
On 07/05/2012 at 11:31pm - animals - by ambushcat - United States
I agree, your life sucks (29238) - you deserved it (6967)
On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (2171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/05/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by FauteuilEver Alone (man) - France
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24736) - you deserved it (3440)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (1980)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15676) - you deserved it (7018)
On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands
Monday 20 May 2013
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