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Perfectionist
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59835) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37324) - you deserved it (7339)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41257) - you deserved it (7481)
On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31110) - you deserved it (7528)
On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27514) - you deserved it (6169)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (15686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26661) - you deserved it (5522)
On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States
Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11287) - you deserved it (37851)
On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20417) - you deserved it (7777)
On 12/28/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29633) - you deserved it (8009)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91268) - you deserved it (10764)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30251) - you deserved it (49766)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21585) - you deserved it (8127)
On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12286) - you deserved it (40521)
On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (13598)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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