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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (10128)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71649) - you deserved it (9144)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (1751)
On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21454) - you deserved it (7074)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (2208)
On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (3956)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (2671)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (2204)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25388) - you deserved it (36787)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (4029)
On 08/21/2011 at 1:48am - kids - by callofdutyhater - United States (California)
Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24436) - you deserved it (6018)
On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (24552)
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14452) - you deserved it (22950)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)
I agree, your life sucks (26815) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (2520)
On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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