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Racky's FML badges
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Racky's favorite FMLs
by jobless / 05/16/2012 at 3:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML
by OytoBeAfather / 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML
by Jon / 05/14/2012 at 5:46pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Money
by picklet / 05/12/2012 at 10:36am / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Work
by lspicknall / 05/12/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
by crazyman. / 05/12/2012 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML
by jessye1182 / 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
by 504-A1 / 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML
by MobPerfect / 05/11/2012 at 9:24am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous