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Perfectionist
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24601) - you deserved it (10764)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29763) - you deserved it (3797)
On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (3697)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18919) - you deserved it (1973)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I proudly presented my research project in class that I've worked for day and night for 3 weeks straight. My teacher fell asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18153) - you deserved it (2193)
On 10/24/2011 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8723) - you deserved it (26178)
On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)
Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19167) - you deserved it (1503)
On 10/21/2011 at 8:10am - work - by Customer Stonage Representative - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16542) - you deserved it (6589)
On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43124) - you deserved it (11796)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (4696)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States
Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (4338) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (3669)
On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37608) - you deserved it (3801)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (2551)
On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54709) - you deserved it (2328)
On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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