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Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13023) - you deserved it (1543)
Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11889) - you deserved it (5363)
On 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by cmc9540 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15430) - you deserved it (923)
On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (1737)
On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11141) - you deserved it (19303)
On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18955) - you deserved it (1138)
On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14742) - you deserved it (6465)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (4925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15528) - you deserved it (8255)
On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12986) - you deserved it (17587)
On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48103) - you deserved it (1979)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (2527)
On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5714) - you deserved it (26815)
On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5335) - you deserved it (19747)
On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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