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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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RachelTM

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RachelTM
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1560
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RachelTM : Problems? Email support@fmylife.com

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RachelTM's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML

#9805179 (398)

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (4664)

On 04/11/2010 at 3:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

#7824554 (342)

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (7314)

On 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nonameLiz (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (14922) - you deserved it (2724)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

#6753816 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (14982) - you deserved it (4276)

On 12/14/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by fire - United States

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

#6753896 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (7157) - you deserved it (22503)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

#6700407 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (2732) - you deserved it (14194)

On 12/10/2009 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by jlowder2 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

#6599042 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (4070) - you deserved it (27304)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by mainlaw (man) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (6007) - you deserved it (30978)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

#5096341 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (39471) - you deserved it (4900)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (8652) - you deserved it (37172)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (59217) - you deserved it (14934)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (4309) - you deserved it (33918)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)



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