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Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (524645) - you deserved it (317989)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89373) - you deserved it (7235)
On 03/10/2009 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by petpeeeve (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (67206)
On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31716) - you deserved it (7573)
On 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by taperjeangirl - United States (Washington)
Today, my religious girlfriend of 8 months finally lets me have sex with her. She invites me over, and just when we are about to do it, her dad comes home from work 3 hours early. She said it is a sign from God that we have to wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56241) - you deserved it (16192)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:49pm - intimacy - by naynay007 (man) - United States
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6129) - you deserved it (36528)
On 01/23/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by sadgirl - United States (Virginia)
Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3506) - you deserved it (26794)
On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3767) - you deserved it (33137)
On 01/11/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by Noname - United States (Virginia)
Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22637) - you deserved it (7717)
On 11/29/2008 at 6:50am - intimacy - by ... - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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