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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
RabidLimaBeans's favorite FMLs
by Nasty / 08/30/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
by slavelaborsux / 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by InAnAwkwardSituation / 08/25/2011 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by nerofirst / 08/19/2011 at 9:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
by romea244 / 08/14/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Puerto Rico) / Animals
by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML
by emegemerald / 07/04/2011 at 12:13am / United States / Animals
by ashleyrae / 06/29/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML
by Jenievonteese / 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
by Brie / 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals
Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML
by heathersmorin / 04/08/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got an extremely sensitive pimple right below my nose. Today also seems to be the day that… Today, my anxiety disorder has gotten so bad that just talking about anxiety is enough to give me a… Today, my crush told me the reason she won't date me is my stupid haircut, so I got it cut. Turns…