RabidLimaBeans

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Offline (the 06/11/2016 at 12:32am)

RabidLimaBeans

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1715
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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RabidLimaBeans's page activity

Visits<b>OrangeKnife</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 8:18pm<b>duckman9</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:25am<b>eighthling</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:17pm<b>JonRom</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:20pm<b>wantedtwo</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:45am<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:39pm<b>windell</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:48pm<b>seth7_</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 11:00pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:37pm<b>rpsrascal</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 8:50pm<b>P_B683</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 3:29pm<b>tlw123</b> - the 08/30/2012 at 6:31pm

Fucked!<b>wantedtwo</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:36pm

RabidLimaBeans's FML badges

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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RabidLimaBeans's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

by grovage / 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

by mark / 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

by mark / 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

by caught / 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 10:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 12:23am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML

by jkass / 10/07/2011 at 11:07am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

by Why_Not31 / 09/01/2011 at 5:58pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

by Why_Not31 / 09/01/2011 at 5:58pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.