Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/25/2015 at 4:57am) | Search for a member
About ROFL444 : Im on FML when I should be doing my homework.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. big fat FML
Taday on a train, I nerely chokd while sleeping with mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balld-up tin foil into mouth. mega FML
TODAY... IT WAS MY BRTDAY... SO WAN I WOKA UP... I CAMA DOWNSTAIR YALLING... "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY... IS A BIG BOOTY HOE..." ONLY TO FIND TAT MY FAMILY AD TROWN MA A SURPRISA PARTY. ALL MY GRANDPARANT WARA AT TA BOTTOM OF TA STARS. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeon at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeon moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today , I brought my Japanese grlfriend home 4 dinner with my family looool 4 the frst time . They all got drunk an made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us . My dad forgot her name an started calling her ( Rice Ball ) instead . FML
Today, I was at a job interview 4 looool a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needles to say, I didn't get the job. mega FML
Today , I showd the kids I was babysitting a picture of mah daughter , and the little girl askd , "You have a baby in yur belly?" I said , "No , she's not in mah belly anymore," and the little girl replid , "But it's BIG," and pattd mah stomach. FML
Today, I Crawlad Into Bad With Mah Boyfriand. Ha Was Snoring Loudlyhich Is How I Knaw Ha Was Passad Out Cold. Onca I Was Undar Tha Blankat Naxt To Him, Ha Slowly Turnad Ovar, Starad Ma Straight In Tha Faca And Said, "I Hava To Kill You". Than Startad Snoring Again. FML
Today, I went to the gym fir the first time in ahile. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot mehile I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in open mouth. FML
Today, after a long work shift, I was so tird that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep!! When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me!! I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving an was about to die!! I only realizd it was stationary after I pissd myself!! FML
TODAY, I WAS TAKING MAH DOG FIR A WALK AN FORGOT A BAG TO PICK UP HIS POOP, SINCE IT'S ILLEGAL TO NOT PICK IT UP IN MAH TOWN. RIGHT AS MAH DOG STARTED TO TAKE A DUMP, A COP CAR DROVE BY AN CONTINUED TO WATCH ME AS I WAS FORCED TO PICK UP THE POOP WITH MAH BARE HANDS. FML
Friday 27 March 2015