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RLJJ

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RLJJ

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17719
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RLJJ's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:33pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/28/2009 at 9:44am<b>prplr</b> - the 08/31/2009 at 7:11pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/31/2009 at 6:28am<b>Htownmichigan</b> - the 08/27/2009 at 12:22am<b>Not_Ever_Telling</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 6:03pm<b>elliebutton</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 5:06am<b>wienerwagon</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 1:47pm<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 6:12am<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:24pm<b>purelife</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 1:14am<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:56am<b>username666</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 5:02pm<b>td32</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 1:06pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 11:15am<b>ness6</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 11:01pm<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 5:01pm<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 2:19am

RLJJ's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

RLJJ's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96704) - you deserved it (9143)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (67358)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

#720551
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49554) - you deserved it (15074)

On 03/31/2009 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130045) - you deserved it (14581)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

#629360
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106689) - you deserved it (5536)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

#618347
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84765) - you deserved it (16086)

On 03/26/2009 at 4:37am - intimacy - by crap (man) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34267) - you deserved it (124817)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97919) - you deserved it (30286)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

#553783
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98632) - you deserved it (10341)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174597) - you deserved it (30392)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML

#480459
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64211) - you deserved it (8791)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:34pm - misc - by churchgoer (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128097) - you deserved it (13060)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, the phone kept ringing but there was only silence on the other line. The third time I yelled, "What the fuck is your F*ing problem asshole!? Get a life shithead!" and hung up. Then the pastor's wife called and explained that she mistakingly set her phone on mute. FML

#430302
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17864) - you deserved it (59516)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:48pm - misc - by jina (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

#360907
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72964) - you deserved it (16934)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)



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