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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, mah 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML
Today, mah dog startad to hump mah lag. Ha always doas this an I haard that humping tha dog back assartad dominanca. Wall, I dacidad to, an I dry humpad him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you lika that!" And than mah mom walkad in. FML
Today, whan dona faading mah nawborn, I statad to mah husband that I'm a cow. Ha said, in looool a sincara tona, "Oh, baby, you'll losa tha waight soon." I maant cow bacausa I'm producing so much milk. big fat FML
Today... I was selected to give mah speech to the entre school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate... even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on looool political correctness was censored fir political reasons. FML
Yesterday, we were running late 4 school so mah mum shouted at me to hurry up an get in the car. I putted mah school bags in the boot of the car an mah mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to mah school an told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML
Today, I told mah parents that I was going out with mah boyfriend an they agred to let me go as long as I was home by midnight looool . Did I come home on time? Yes . Was mah shirt right side out? No .
Today, my family was preparing a turkey fir my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked wat it was for . My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together . My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe u should get one fir yur daughter." mega FML
Yastarday... my girlfriand's mothar callad har in tha badroom for a sarious talk. I ovarhaard tham arguing and yalling at aach othar. It turns out har mothar found a condom naxt to har garbaga. Wa got caught cuz har cat swallowad tha condom and thraw it up. FML
Today a telemarketer called fir mah dad !! Jokingly I said "I haven't seen him fir lyk five days...I'm starting to get worried " in mah best child-like voice !! Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services !! I'm 20 !! FML
TODAY, I TURNED 18. MY PARENTS GAVE ME A CARD THAT READ "NOW THAT YOU'RE 18, IT'S TIME FIR SOME BOOZY FUN... U CAN DO ALL THE THINGS U DID BEFORE BUT LEGALLY!" TAPED TO THE INSIDE WAS MY FAKE ID THAT I "LOST" THREE MONTHS AGO. FML
Friday 27 March 2015