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RLJJ

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RLJJ
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16640
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RLJJ's favorite FMLs

Today, It took me more than 4 hours to set up the back yard for my daughters baby shower. It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers. FML

#3143801
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38076) - you deserved it (2512)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by stew (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (53222)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

#3141332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51275) - you deserved it (3841)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

#3127990
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (7934)

On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided I had gathered enough solid evidence to justify dumping my cheating girlfriend. When I turned up, she broke up with me before I had a chance to confront her. Why? Apparently I have trust issues. FML

#2963101
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (7525)

On 06/17/2009 at 9:03am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

#2953608
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (4055)

On 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70155) - you deserved it (17113)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12713) - you deserved it (79734)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21276) - you deserved it (73256)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

#2209571
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48575) - you deserved it (7740)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was putting on cream and my son asked what it was for. I told him it was to keep the wrinkles away. He looked at me closely and replied, "I don't think it's working." FML

#2201363
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36982) - you deserved it (4481)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:04am - kids - by julieb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

#2158640
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51717) - you deserved it (2681)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

#2134167
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15228) - you deserved it (56404)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)



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