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RLJJ

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RLJJ
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16609
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RLJJ's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML

#6366534
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (2453)

On 11/19/2009 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out. They are accompanied by sayings such as "you don't want to turn out like this." FML

#6222745
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (4548)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'll be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML

#6172287
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (6455)

On 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

#6013490
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (2982)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML

#5708797
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29006) - you deserved it (14669)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

#5541455
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36324) - you deserved it (4570)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42960) - you deserved it (3626)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was at a birthday party and got my face rubbed in with a cake. When I came out of the restroom having washed my face I noticed one of the girls going in. Just to be nice I asked, "They put cake on your face too, did they?" She said no, that was just her make-up. FML

#5247555
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10457) - you deserved it (27878)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by nickname (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML

#5203249
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9370) - you deserved it (40068)

On 09/12/2009 at 8:00am - love - by TrainedBF (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45258) - you deserved it (1945)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML

#5164588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33973) - you deserved it (6767)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52866) - you deserved it (2803)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68372) - you deserved it (2462)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

#4779323
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31593) - you deserved it (16026)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Mattyboy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML

#4717200
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (7078)

On 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



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