RLJJ

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RLJJ

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19435
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RLJJ's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:33pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 7:11am<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/28/2009 at 9:44am<b>prplr</b> - the 08/31/2009 at 7:11pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/31/2009 at 6:28am<b>Htownmichigan</b> - the 08/27/2009 at 12:22am<b>Not_Ever_Telling</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 6:03pm<b>elliebutton</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 5:06am<b>wienerwagon</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 1:47pm<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 6:12am<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:24pm<b>purelife</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 1:14am<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:56am<b>username666</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 5:02pm<b>td32</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 1:06pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 11:15am<b>ness6</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 11:01pm<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 5:01pm

RLJJ's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

RLJJ's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 10:40am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I spent 6 hours unloading boxes into my new apartment. After unloading the entire truck and making trips up and down two flights of stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Apparently the landlord gave me the key to the WRONG apartment. Mine is downstairs. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2010 at 7:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

by Username / 10/04/2010 at 1:48am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

by Claire / 09/29/2010 at 1:59am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 7:45am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

by poppet2010 / 01/17/2010 at 10:58am / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

by Amber / 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

by notcool / 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

by fartlover / 11/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous