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RKD

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RKD
  • Town/Country : Somewhere
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 November 1978 (34 years)
  • Number of visits : 725
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About RKD : I love good FMLS!

RKD's last visitors

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RKD's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of RKD's badges

RKD's favorite FMLs

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41818) - you deserved it (4781)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

#20576526
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35187) - you deserved it (2159)

On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (3011)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34085) - you deserved it (2280)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32731) - you deserved it (4923)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32731) - you deserved it (4923)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39868) - you deserved it (12024)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

#20574572
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40647) - you deserved it (2711)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19050) - you deserved it (57913)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (3072)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (5121)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (6369)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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