Phuck Filly. Dallas sucks. Redskins always sucked. Suck on our three Lombardi Trophies Eagles, might as well have a taste considering you will never get one.
Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18113) - you totally deserved it (4229)
On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25293) - you totally deserved it (2154)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm - love - by Rage (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, at Wal Mart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide & seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As i was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you totally deserved it (2576)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38019) - you totally deserved it (1938)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by haha247 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you totally deserved it (4045)
On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my boyfriend who likes to get high was driving me insisting he wasn't currently high. A family of deer was standing on the side of the road and he pulled over by them waited until they walked closer to us and said, "what seems to be the problem officers?" He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14745) - you totally deserved it (25296)
On 08/07/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Jstar - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML
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On 08/06/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by fazzems (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33129) - you totally deserved it (2371)
On 08/03/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (46155) - you totally deserved it (3158)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by ididntdoanythingaight (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47215) - you totally deserved it (2317)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore
Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37134) - you totally deserved it (2232)
On 07/24/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by mubaki (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
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On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11469) - you totally deserved it (27276)
On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34725) - you totally deserved it (1542)
On 07/15/2009 at 1:04am - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
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On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)
