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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4687
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted



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Today, I actually used Febreze as a substitute for deodorant. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

by akasha / 04/06/2012 at 2:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

by feminismlol / 04/06/2012 at 12:45am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

by tatatest / 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

by TwiceDaily,Kids / 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm / United States / Health

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

by darkestbarbie / 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

by tessamarque / 04/05/2012 at 11:07am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2012 at 8:36am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

by Nadaz / 04/05/2012 at 7:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

by Kait / 04/05/2012 at 12:13am / United States / Work

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

by Chris / 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

by Telemarket / 04/04/2012 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love