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RAINBOWSUGAR's favorite FMLs
Today, I called my mobile phone provider to end my contract. A sales rep spent over half an hour trying to convince me to reconsider, and I kept refusing. I ended up breaking down and accepting a "more economical" contract, which I didn't notice costs almost twice as much as the last one. FML
by ... / 04/20/2012 at 10:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
by burr415 / 04/20/2012 at 6:55pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Health
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
by apparentlyawomanbeater / 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Transportation
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
by Fartfail / 04/18/2012 at 9:43am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
by Fillifilo / 04/18/2012 at 12:38am / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by phoneless / 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm / Jordan / Miscellaneous
by Jason199615 / 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML
by Merlin / 04/17/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by unloved / 04/17/2012 at 10:54am / United States / Love
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by OL2R / 04/17/2012 at 4:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 12:26am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 10:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience.… Today, I told my husband it would be great to spend an evening with a bottle of wine and a pile of… Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny…