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Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15223) - you deserved it (1521)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13758) - you deserved it (17646)
On 04/22/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by stoggie96 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18020) - you deserved it (5264)
On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20798) - you deserved it (7967)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, I found out my fiancé has been cheating on me for the past month. The lady he has been seeing is a choreographer that was teaching him how to dance salsa for our wedding rehearsal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24651) - you deserved it (1809)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:20am - love - by Gennifer - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (3369)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5789) - you deserved it (45731)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16073) - you deserved it (1686)
On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16483) - you deserved it (1853)
On 04/21/2012 at 3:26pm - kids - by Lorena - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18289) - you deserved it (1927)
On 04/21/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17753) - you deserved it (2618)
On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16974) - you deserved it (3139)
On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21171) - you deserved it (2303)
On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18845) - you deserved it (3145)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6640) - you deserved it (27076)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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