Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

R3TROxLOV3

Online | Search for a member

R3TROxLOV3

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5593
  • Number of comments : 338
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>gingerJ</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Joshwarrior</b> - 20 hours ago<b>volcanes_jovenes</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - yesterday at 7:24am<b>misteygirl</b> - yesterday at 11:15am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:05am<b>sarah269</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:12pm<b>gregsgirlfriend</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:07am<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:51am<b>brittanyann2013</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:23am<b>tailyerd</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:50pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:32pm<b>barakados</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:11am<b>therosalina</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:28pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:50pm<b>ayanna_wright</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:42pm<b>michelleeeey</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:26pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:42pm

Liked!<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - 21 hours ago

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

#211586
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80699) - you deserved it (4811)

On 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML

#185358
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84682) - you deserved it (3782)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90980) - you deserved it (4683)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59684) - you deserved it (13021)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
953 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72950) - you deserved it (421562)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

#139747
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76123) - you deserved it (18762)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by jsw029 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

#121635
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46421) - you deserved it (3673)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Ren (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

#14044
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16863) - you deserved it (45872)

On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the first guy I've ever loved is going to a fancy rush party with my best friend. He did tell me he needed space to think about us this whole weekend. I guess I know what he's been thinking. FML

#2350
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16444) - you deserved it (1548)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by sleepy125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

#2212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4744) - you deserved it (40152)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:34pm - love - by Princeton - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28501) - you deserved it (14154)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: