Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11136
  • Number of comments : 408
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I basically have an alarming level of disdain directed towards all of you. Because of this disdain, I feel that roughly 99% of you aren't worth talking to. As such, refrain from messaging me, because I won't answer.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>tjw1616</b> - yesterday at 2:06pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - yesterday at 11:06am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:14am<b>muis545</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:05pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:04am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 10:58pm<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 10:23pm<b>asdadfhowrh</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:47pm<b>Celeden</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 11:43pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 5:40pm<b>dohnuthead222</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 8:33am<b>Mikie111999</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 7:57am<b>Atrius82</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 7:51am<b>lickastick</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:25am<b>C7</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 1:58am<b>co824</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 11:56pm<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:37pm<b>puckyou</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 12:02am

Fucked!<b>barisozdemir</b> - yesterday at 5:06pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:14pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:04am<b>puckyou</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:02am<b>patte</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:38am<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 5:08am<b>coppersmith</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Estrangement</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:18am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:17am<b>zjay</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:35am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:24pm<b>teazyfisher</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:33pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:09am<b>bionicslash</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:13pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:40am<b>morlogg</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:31pm<b>corporatescoundr</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:09am<b>invizibubble</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:11am

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges


Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (201695)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64066) - you deserved it (27876)

On 03/25/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (83284) - you deserved it (9274)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (121324) - you deserved it (8909)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (72574) - you deserved it (7591)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Nathan (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (135314) - you deserved it (38866)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (142216) - you deserved it (11306)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML


I agree, your life sucks (152351) - you deserved it (17370)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (87266) - you deserved it (6863)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML


I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (58993)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:56am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML


I agree, your life sucks (86054) - you deserved it (5184)

On 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML


I agree, your life sucks (90371) - you deserved it (4177)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: