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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3R3TROxLOV3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7309
  • Number of comments : 363
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>ricardof</b> - yesterday at 5:37pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - yesterday at 4:33am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 12:48am<b>Thorzix</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:26am<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:25am<b>morlogg</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:30am<b>natyemi15</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:12pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:05pm<b>skygage</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:43pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:55pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 3:38pm<b>Marcella1016</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 3:29pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 3:06pm<b>Austrand22</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:09am<b>versx</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 6:16pm<b>I_Am_Melanie</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 1:59pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 1:49pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 1:48pm

Liked!<b>morlogg</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:31pm<b>corporatescoundr</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:09am<b>invizibubble</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:11am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:09am<b>s_t_adam</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:56pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:41am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:24pm

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

#2865123
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (2340)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Meg (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

#2754553
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81232) - you deserved it (6116)

On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70679) - you deserved it (4839)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

#2597926
617 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10808) - you deserved it (137085)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

#2414317
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17188) - you deserved it (59872)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

#2211360
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40607) - you deserved it (24911)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (85979)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

#1774504
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51731) - you deserved it (6850)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

#1744807
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52683) - you deserved it (12651)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (96672)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

#1584585
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18109) - you deserved it (1920)

On 05/03/2009 at 3:15am - kids - by bodhimae - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92807) - you deserved it (9080)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

#1449885
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64360) - you deserved it (41479)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (210221) - you deserved it (11243)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said "hey I love your jacket, where'd you get that?". I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere". FML

#1288123
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18031) - you deserved it (57454)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by cole (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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