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R3TROxLOV3

Offline (yesterday at 7:35pm) | Search for a member

R3TROxLOV3

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5784
  • Number of comments : 340
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>deusetnatura</b> - 13 hours ago<b>cjxyz24</b> - 16 hours ago<b>BunnyDreams</b> - 17 hours ago<b>gregsgirlfriend</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:32am<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:04pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:47am<b>Vaneessaa</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:18am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:03pm<b>invizibubble</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:15am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:07pm<b>volcanes_jovenes</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:39pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:24am<b>misteygirl</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:15am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:05am<b>sarah269</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:12pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:51am<b>brittanyann2013</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:23am

Liked!<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:24pm

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

#1744807
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52030) - you deserved it (12478)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you deserved it (95654)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

#1584585
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (1813)

On 05/03/2009 at 3:15am - kids - by bodhimae - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92569) - you deserved it (9063)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

#1449885
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63110) - you deserved it (40870)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (207850) - you deserved it (11192)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said "hey I love your jacket, where'd you get that?". I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere". FML

#1288123
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17471) - you deserved it (56756)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by cole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

#1219528
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73617) - you deserved it (7437)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

#1176288
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15649) - you deserved it (116997)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

#1035901
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78341) - you deserved it (6178)

On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

#873540
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15281) - you deserved it (74502)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got accepted to the North America Scholar Consortium as a Member of the Highest Honor, which I had applied for a few weeks ago. Happy to be able to add something good to my resume, I called my mom excitedly, and then Googled it to ascertain the level of prestige. Turns out it's a scam. FML

#852442
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42195) - you deserved it (26183)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by AlmostScdOtOf68Bucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

#850097
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (158509)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML

#819643
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118002) - you deserved it (7165)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML

#810319
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57581) - you deserved it (8542)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by lifestinks - Canada (Ontario)



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