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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3
  • Town/Country : Unicorn City, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3674
  • Number of comments : 205
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : Hmm, what should I say about myself? I'm blunt, I completely lack a filter, and I can be quite rude when offended, irritated, or just because. I'm also unbelievably gullible, I compose music on 3 different instruments, I read a book a day, my favorite official world is spiffy (favorite unofficial word(s)? It's a tie between beautimous and funsies), and I love to laugh. I have an aversion to stupidity, so if you're lacking in common sense, do me a favor and stay away from me (See? There's that no filter thing). But in all seriousness, I'm nice unless you give me a reason not to be, that being said...

If you send me a private message, I'll most likely answer it, but DO NOT try to hit on me through them. It does not endear you to me in any way, shape, or form. Actually, it completely creeps me out, so just don't do it.

R3TROxLOV3's last visitors

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R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17110) - you deserved it (227895)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

#5205782
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44382) - you deserved it (3867)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45257) - you deserved it (1945)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43157) - you deserved it (14283)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

#5163523
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10408) - you deserved it (24483)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:25am - intimacy - by wallflower (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

#5150637
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34407) - you deserved it (3505)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by m - United States

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

#5126886
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46947) - you deserved it (3430)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:29pm - health - by UhOhhhh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML

#5019794
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60507) - you deserved it (12061)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

#4859108
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55265) - you deserved it (8406)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

#4850568
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60358) - you deserved it (4803)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Hellohaileyexoh (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was using a cream to remove the hair from my legs. After I was done, I went on the computer, and a few minutes later I noticed that the same hand I had the cream on was leaning on the side of my head. Now I have a huge bald spot and a party to go to later. FML

#4756593
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11327) - you deserved it (39008)

On 08/23/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Akasunanokai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

#4730370
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (10103)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12992) - you deserved it (62168)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

#4622066
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you deserved it (79917)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:04am - misc - by probably_the_ex_now (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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