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R3TROxLOV3

Offline (the 07/09/2014 at 1:19am) | Search for a member

R3TROxLOV3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5041
  • Number of comments : 311
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>euphoricness</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Ian7890</b> - 14 hours ago<b>ZY1431</b> - 16 hours ago<b>pwnapple99</b> - 22 hours ago<b>alicealiveordead</b> - 24 hours ago<b>agirlnamedLola</b> - yesterday at 6:33pm<b>Antonhjn</b> - yesterday at 5:41pm<b>hopsinlove17</b> - yesterday at 2:55pm<b>jgriff79</b> - yesterday at 11:30am<b>melons</b> - yesterday at 3:48am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 8:56pm<b>kaitlyntonner</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:00pm<b>tj_307</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:40am<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:33pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:44pm<b>gs12345_</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:55pm<b>LappDance</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:49pm<b>hailssmith97</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:48am

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I submitted my 5000 word assignment. When I got home, my mother asked if I'd checked it through one more time like she always warned me to do. I hadn't. And I therefore hadn't noticed the paragraph on p11 that she'd written, telling me to pay attention to the small details. FML

#6068555
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28124) - you deserved it (11230)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by JZ (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

#6067617
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (1981)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML

#6048206
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6901) - you deserved it (105980)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML

#5772625
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34105) - you deserved it (1975)

On 10/11/2009 at 6:54am - love - by noo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML

#5757165
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7064) - you deserved it (65051)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:30pm - money - by horniness (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52591) - you deserved it (8812)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
480 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (237326)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

#5205782
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46984) - you deserved it (4126)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48760) - you deserved it (2204)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45679) - you deserved it (15102)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

#5163523
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14005) - you deserved it (34222)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:25am - intimacy - by wallflower (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

#5150637
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35684) - you deserved it (3639)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by m - United States

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

#5126886
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49971) - you deserved it (3696)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:29pm - health - by UhOhhhh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML

#5019794
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62341) - you deserved it (12477)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)



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