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Quoththeraven666's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by damnedbydurberg / 11/21/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by madison77 / 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm / United States / Love
Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML
by whyyy / 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/21/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by bad karma / 11/21/2011 at 9:34am / United States (Florida) / Health
by nightowl506 / 11/21/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML
by disciplinaryaction / 11/21/2011 at 2:02am / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by bizzyizzy0121 / 11/21/2011 at 1:28am / United States / Miscellaneous
by BadFather / 11/21/2011 at 1:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by sourcandy013 / 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML
by brokeandalone / 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML
by johnnydoe6969 / 11/20/2011 at 6:51pm / United States / Intimacy
by Emil / 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…