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Quoththeraven666's favorite FMLs
by poorchild / 11/23/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Julie / 11/23/2011 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
by thunderthighs644 / 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm / Health
Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML
by Anon / 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm / United States / Love
by laststand11 / 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm / Transportation
Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML
by Bob / 11/22/2011 at 1:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I lost my job for taking an unauthorized vacation. I just got married and requested time off for the wedding and honeymoon months ago; it was approved then. They forgot, and then got angry because I didn't remind them. I did remind them, the day before I left. FML
by lostwife / 11/22/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Holidays
Today, I was pulled over. The cop seemed very familiar. Turns out he was a relative of mine whom I haven't spoken to in a very long time. We had decent conversation and caught up. He still gave me a ticket. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2011 at 10:09am / United States / Money
by ughh / 11/22/2011 at 8:22am / United States / Health
Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML
by Charles Pennington / 11/22/2011 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML
by daybyday / 11/22/2011 at 3:08am / Australia / Health
- Today, I can't seem to get a job after going for more than 20 interviews over the last two months.… Today, after asking my manager how his day was going he explained that he stopped drinking and was… Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to…