About Quimpo : I'm on a lot when I'm bored at work. I do my best to cheer up as much people as I can cause I'm corny like that!
Quimpo's FML badges
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Quimpo's favorite FMLs
Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 2:43pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
by bargainshopper / 10/16/2012 at 7:28am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Miscellaneous
by Mike / 10/16/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids
Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Intimacy
Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 12:48am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by leafscupwin / 10/16/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML
by notattractiveatall / 10/15/2012 at 6:09pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Bug / 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by 3023-dang / 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Love
by scarred_sibling / 10/15/2012 at 8:10am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 6:28am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by katie_sadface / 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm / Canada / Money