About Quimpo : I'm on a lot when I'm bored at work. I do my best to cheer up as much people as I can cause I'm corny like that!
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Quimpo's favorite FMLs
Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 2:43pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
by bargainshopper / 10/16/2012 at 7:28am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Miscellaneous
by Mike / 10/16/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids
Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Intimacy
Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 12:48am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by leafscupwin / 10/16/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML
by notattractiveatall / 10/15/2012 at 6:09pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Bug / 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by 3023-dang / 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Love
by scarred_sibling / 10/15/2012 at 8:10am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 6:28am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by katie_sadface / 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm / Canada / Money
- Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today, my crush got together with a dude on my 18th birthday party after I tried my best to win her… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…