About Quimpo : I'm on a lot when I'm bored at work. I do my best to cheer up as much people as I can cause I'm corny like that!
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Quimpo's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by StormSeason / 10/29/2012 at 8:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 6:32am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
by Nice Guy / 10/29/2012 at 3:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML
by cupnoodles / 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids
by prettylady? / 10/28/2012 at 12:22am / United States / Love
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
by Ceej / 10/28/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
by whoreticulturalist / 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy
by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML
by katier8295 / 10/27/2012 at 8:43am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
by Ohwhy / 10/27/2012 at 7:53am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:20am / United States / Kids
by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…