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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Quiet_one

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Quiet_one
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 August 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 827
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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Quiet_one's favorite FMLs

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606 (601)

I agree, your life sucks (3334) - you deserved it (14320) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (5873) - you deserved it (7136)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (541)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (16393) - you deserved it (1584)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

#18750908 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (6821) - you deserved it (991)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

#18684566 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (1906)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:18am - misc - by jku (man) - United States (Montana)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (5308) - you deserved it (8470)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

#17847729 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (11157) - you deserved it (1872)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML

#17643639 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (16524) - you deserved it (2713)

On 09/02/2011 at 10:56am - animals - by PghSportsNation - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

#17528012 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (23040) - you deserved it (5707)

On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (8019)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML

#17237614 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (2422)

On 07/24/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (11537) - you deserved it (30117)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

#17187115 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (38323) - you deserved it (1939)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (5202)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by gntfmlingnow - United States (Ohio)



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