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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Quest07734

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Quest07734
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 972
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Quest07734's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (2174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (33277) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676 (395)

I agree, your life sucks (5842) - you deserved it (69031)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (15416)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (12197) - you deserved it (32174)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

#18070183 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (20545) - you deserved it (1952)

On 10/25/2011 at 3:17am - animals - by pinkjade - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML

#18062520 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (14514) - you deserved it (832)

On 10/24/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by lonely - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9457) - you deserved it (1956)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (34883) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (19429) - you deserved it (1783)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094 (292)

I agree, your life sucks (50330) - you deserved it (2048)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807 (305)

I agree, your life sucks (15953) - you deserved it (1504)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (19171) - you deserved it (2052)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (2578)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

#17855277 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (8634) - you deserved it (694)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)