QueenDani

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QueenDani

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1395
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About QueenDani : hi there. :]

QueenDani's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:42am<b>lilauer13</b> - the 01/07/2011 at 9:34am<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 12/22/2010 at 2:01pm<b>Fnyrri</b> - the 12/02/2010 at 3:29pm<b>Guy247bp</b> - the 11/03/2010 at 3:02pm<b>sweetpandora</b> - the 10/23/2010 at 8:08am<b>angrynegro7</b> - the 10/06/2010 at 2:59pm<b>Atheos</b> - the 10/03/2010 at 10:34pm<b>Fourteen</b> - the 10/03/2010 at 4:34pm<b>Nevergettingany</b> - the 10/03/2010 at 1:52am<b>joeinthedark</b> - the 08/12/2010 at 11:39am<b>Marikamaria</b> - the 07/19/2010 at 3:49pm<b>dingo353</b> - the 07/19/2010 at 9:12am<b>disappearingink</b> - the 07/14/2010 at 5:41pm<b>KaylaCrow</b> - the 07/08/2010 at 6:04pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 1:47pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/29/2010 at 9:19am

QueenDani's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

QueenDani's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

by No.Life. / 07/14/2010 at 12:09am / United States (Vermont) / Geek

Today, I marched into my workplace yelling "take this job and shove it", under the impression I would be on a flight in a few days out of here. However, the airline has informed me I cannot fly until April because cargo is too cold for my dog this time of year. Jobless, four weeks to wait. FML

by EnemyofKarma / 03/04/2010 at 3:52am / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

by Anon / 12/05/2009 at 9:19am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Intimacy

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML

by dontpanic / 09/21/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

by ouchh / 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

by Gordon / 07/22/2009 at 10:12am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

by embarrassed / 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML

by Fattie / 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm / Malaysia (Sarawak) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous