Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Quagmire_ladies

Search for a member

Quagmire_ladies
  • Town/Country : Portland, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 April 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3859
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Quagmire_ladies : When my day is feeling down the drain or when I'm really bored, I can always count on this site to bring my day back up!

I'm pretty friendly so if you want to pop in and say hi via Email I'm cool with that.

Quagmire_ladies's last visitors

Freezeerpaderpchyeaa_brikugh_kughRiileynerdsgetmehotSapphireSympathyFYLDeep

Quagmire_ladies's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Quagmire_ladies's badges

Quagmire_ladies's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

#17226602
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (3156)

On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

#17221659
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (8011) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/22/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by zerom - France

Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML

#17211287
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (1790)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by MailMaster (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37753) - you deserved it (3552)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11314) - you deserved it (31771)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31049) - you deserved it (8235)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29459) - you deserved it (3986)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

#17177667
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you deserved it (5984)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35023) - you deserved it (4877)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

#17170147
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10693) - you deserved it (21187)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:23pm - intimacy - by RobinBunny713 - United States (Arizona)

Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML

#17148663
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (3028)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Fairymyass (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32389) - you deserved it (2007)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (5802)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (3819)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

#17134367
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (3147)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: