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QD's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
QD's favorite FMLs
by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 8:00am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML
by Oli974 / 10/22/2015 at 9:08am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Work
Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML
by C BOMB / 09/14/2015 at 7:58pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML
by baberuth / 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML
by iamfab / 06/06/2015 at 1:52am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by :O / 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
by Sarah1330 / 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wirral) / Miscellaneous
by Lily_Rain77 / 01/07/2015 at 7:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 9:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she… Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal.…