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Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33674) - you deserved it (6047)
On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42567) - you deserved it (3345)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17026) - you deserved it (2586)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (4098)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9350) - you deserved it (35027)
On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41993) - you deserved it (3120)
On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (5295) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version
Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (8089)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35030) - you deserved it (6325)
On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40134) - you deserved it (4394)
On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38786) - you deserved it (8117) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm - love - by Bouh (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64051) - you deserved it (15781)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (4878)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27560) - you deserved it (9442)
On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24680) - you deserved it (2448)
On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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